Be Okay Brother

 

Be Okay Brother 

    Looking back is like taking a ugly glance at who I used to be before my family and I’s life was turned upside down. This diagnosis was one that would change my family dynamic forever in who knows what way. That summer was a good one until June first; then all hell broke loose and left my whole family running around like chickens with their heads cut off. 

 

The doctors were talking to my brother and parents when I arrived. I was convinced Jack was just getting blood work done because he was having back issues. Blood cancers and Disorders it said on the wall.

 “Why is Jack on this floor Aunt Kelly?”

“Oh this is just where they take blood for all the patients,” she fired back quickly, walking faster.

  No one could have prepared me for what happened next. I walked into Jack’s hospital room, seventeenth floor, big windows, the smell of sickness and despair reaking on that floor. My mom was crying and my brother was staring straight; my mom could barely get any words out. It seemed like we had waited minutes for her to finally utter what the doctor had proclaimed. Jack, my big brother, was diagnosed with cancer. Acute lymphoblastic leukemia to be exact. That very moment is the only time in my life I have experienced pure heartbreak. My body felt numb as I dropped to the floor after hearing those words come from my mother’s mouth. Tears flooded my eyes and I took a look at my brother; the look on his face is one I will never forget. He looked as if he was defeated. A single tear fell down his face as I wrapped my arms around him and he cried in my arms. I felt him shake and he whispered in my ear, “I’m gonna be okay, I can do this, I love you”.

At that moment, I felt the ache of possibly losing my brother in the upcoming months and the insane amount of love I felt for him from all the past years. All the little memories from our childhood played over and over in my head as if I was watching a slideshow. I regretted not appreciating him more and not telling him how much he meant to me while we were growing up. But I knew from this moment on, I had to be the best sister I could possibly be. We had always been close, never really fought besides the occasional “Mom, he hit me,” scenario. I knew right then I had to change my attitude and become more responsible. My parents needed to focus on my brother and I needed to be okay on my own at home, while they were in the city with him at the hospital. I was just your average fifteen year old girl, all about boys and going to football games. Then, my life turned into knowing medical terms, going to his surgeries and treatments, learning CPR, so that if I was in charge of watching him at home and something happened, I would be prepared. So much changed in such a small amount of time and there was nothing anyone could do about it. From that moment on, I vowed to be a better person.

 This unfortunate event ended up turning out okay, just like Jack said it would. It opened my eyes to the concept of how private life is. You could have known me during that time and had no idea my mind was somewhere else whilst I was in class. That’s why you can’t judge someone, because you have absolutely no idea what is going on at home. Abuse, anxiety, or sickness could be affecting how that person behaves or portrays themselves. Jack struggled with his cancer because it was a very aggressive form. Chemotherapy did not work for him and we all got very worried it was too late for treatment, so the doctors gave my parents two choices. One was a new therapy called Cart T therapy, which has little to no data about it but is known to get cancer patients into remission. Plan number two was to try a different more aggressive form of chemotherapy which would make Jack weaker; the radiation that comes  with this type or chemotherapy is very invasive. My parents chose to go with plan number one and start the process of the Cart T therapy. After a long, terrifying, wait with symptoms and fevers, Jack was in remission. He has been for 2 years now. My dreams have shifted from the football games and silly boy crushes, to my big brother becoming an uncle to my kids and a dad to his own when we grow older. I wanted to attend his wedding and watch him fall in love with some country girl.

 At one point, I didn’t think I was gonna be lucky enough to see these things. But with this new therapy and the hope and prayers from our support system, Jack is cured from cancer! This event changed me in so many ways. I am more health conscious and my brother and I are closer than we have ever been. I turned from a bratty fifteen year old to a mature fifteen going on twenty-five year old from how much I had endeavored mentally. I wouldn’t trade that for anything. I got through those months by telling myself this: God puts you through things because he knows you can handle them and, in the end, they will teach you a lesson. So if you’re going through anything, or maybe everything, just know you were put in that situation because God knew you could handle it and, in the end, it might make you a better person. If your family member or friend is being affected by cancer or any illness,  just know that you’re not alone and you have my prayers.